If you’re in it for the long haul step #1 is: lose the baggage!
Memories from prior relationships
- Bad memories create expectations that cause you miss the good in present relationships
- Good memories create expectations that cause destructive comparisons
- Pain can create fear of being vulnerable
- Mistakes can lead to shame or guilt
- Unchecked, your past relationships will define your future relationships
Examine your responses, and distinguish between knee-jerk and instinct
Let it go – You let go for a reason, don’t forget the reason!
Move on, decidedly, purposefully
Upgrade your habits
1. Don’t allow your sexuality to ignite in the wrong place
If you’re unmarried, having sexual relationships now will deeply and negatively impact your future marriage.
2. Show pride in your spouse, publicly. Not just verbally, but in all ways.
3. Stay in touch, literally! Strong marriages need regular physical contact like holding hands, kissing goodbye, and yes, if you’re married that includes sexual contact.
4. Distance yourself from “friends” who attack your spouse, even if they do it only behind your back or only to you!
5. Uncover your secrets, not your spouse’s secrets, your own secrets.
6. Strike the “D” word from your vocabulary.
7. Keep working on it, never put your marriage on autopilot. Don’t become what Dave Willis calls A “Cable Company Marriage” – You get the best deal from a cable company in introductory offers. Then what happens? They don’t work as hard to keep you as they did to get you. Ouch! Sure, some things will change over the years of a relationship but we must always put forth the same effort!
8. Keep your marriage strong even while raising kids.
When the nest empties of all that the marriage consisted of for 20 years, you may not find just an empty nest, you may find an empty marriage!
9. Follow your commitment instead of your feelings.
10. Always be forgiving, even when you don’t receive an apology. No holding grudges or keeping score!
What the Bible says…
In the Old Testament, specifically Malachi 2:14-16 we learn two hugely important things:
Everything is connected & God hates divorce
The New Testament gives only one reason for divorce and remarriage: adultery
10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Divorce (article by Tim Challies)
Here is the point: God is serious about marriage!
And at 29:11, so are we! We have a Zero Divorce Goal
But what if you’ve already been divorced & remarried. We believe we must begin where we are. We can go back into our past and apologize, restore anything we’ve taken or destroyed, etc. but we can’t undo what has been done. No matter your past, pick up where you are, with a commitment to finish what you have started! If you have questions please ask! You can text us at 205-476-2911!
If you want to be saved and become a follower of Jesus it’s very simple because Jesus has already done the hard work. Romans 10:9-10 says all we have to do is believe Jesus is exactly who He says He is, the Son of God who died for our sins and rose again on the 3rd day. So just tell Jesus right now you believe in Him and ask Him to forgive you of your sins. And tell someone else you believe in Jesus. You can tell a spouse, parent, best friend, or you can text us at 205-476-2911.