What makes relationships so complicated?
- Unmet (and often unrealistic) expectations
- Hurt from betrayal, broken promises, etc
- Anger, bias, abuse from outside the relationship
Destroyers of relationships, things many of us don’t even realize we are doing. So in other words, these are things to stop doing:
Dishonesty, including lying to keep the peace, using half-truths to drop hints, manipulating the truth, using truth for guilt, etc. All of these will create distrust in your relationships!
Narcissism, evidenced by an imbalance in the relationship in any area (housework, decisions, money, conversations, etc), a lack of compromise, dividing things (like responsibilities, money, etc) in order to protect turf or time, etc. These are draining others around you.
Immaturity, evidenced by fighting unfair (insults, name-calling, etc), being easily offended, an inability to delay gratification (to say “no” to yourself), etc. Being immature as a person keeps our relationships from maturing.
Insecurity, which may even hide behind the disguise of a loner or egotist, passing blame, self-deprecation, over-apologizing, etc. Insecurity is unattractive!
Black-and-white thinking, having everything figured out, no human subjectivity even in complex situations, etc. This rigidity is the opposite of the give-and-take every real relationship requires!
Preventatives & Fixes:
Prayer – Philippians 4:6
Patience – Romans 12:12
Selflessness – John 15:13
Believe the best – 1 Corinthians 13:7
Seek real peace (not fabricated peace) – Romans 12:18
Communication – James 1:19
Choose words carefully – Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 15:1
Choose the right time – Psalm 73:21-22
Forgiveness – Ephesians 4:32